Couples’ Therapy
Artwork by Alexander Milov I use the Gottman Method, which is the science-based, goal-oriented,
wonderfully effective theory that guides our work.
90-minute couples therapy
Note: This is a self-pay option. The cost for each 90-minute session is $175.
This option may include meeting at your home (within 10 miles of central Albuquerque) or meeting online. Sessions are scheduled based on availability.
If you are interested in moving forward in your relationship in a bigger way, contact me! I have a few openings for a more intensive couples therapy experience. In 90 minutes, we can go more in-depth and move more quickly than a typical 53-minute session. This Gottman-based therapy centers around you and your individual issues. We can work with communication issues, building more friendship and connection, infidelity, sexual issues, feeling shut down to each other, lack of shared time and interests, different life goals, fighting, lack of fighting, spending more time together, having more emotional vulnerability and connection (safely), issues with money, issues with others, issues with family, issues around parenting, differences in values, and so much more!
Relationship Skills Group
Interested in getting started on some skills?
Next offering:
Coming soon!
8 Mondays
6:00 - 8:00 pm
(Mountain Time)
This group is online only!
Join a group!
Before you say no way…
We hear it a lot: you worry that you’ll have to share too much, you aren’t good at talking about your feelings, you think your problems are pretty individual, you can’t imagine a therapy group could help, it seems awkward, it feels too personal…
I’ve got you! Truly, a group experience is a powerful thing. Groups are great for:
normalizing your experience (hint: others are going through a lot of the same stuff)
learning from others who are in the same (or a different!) stage of life
taking in information that is commonly shared in therapy, such as communication skills, tools, research, examples, resources, and more!
getting you in a good place to start therapy from a place of having knowledge, beginning skills, and readiness
And whenever possible, I give special consideration on my waitlist to group participants, since we’re starting at a higher level!
Clients who have taken the leap are incredibly enthusiastic about their experience.
Group work online means you do some learning in a group, work with your partner privately, and share as you’re comfortable. You’re never put on the spot!
Hey! Did you know that insurance sometimes pays for group work? Get in touch to find out if your insurance(s) cover the fee!
About Gottman Method Couples Therapy
The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy is based on Dr. John Gottman’s research, which has focused on what makes relationships succeed or fail.
From this research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have created a method of therapy that emphasizes a “nuts-and-bolts” approach to improving clients’ relationships.
This method is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in your relationship. To help you productively manage conflicts, you will be given methods to manage “resolvable problems” and dialogue about “gridlocked” (or perpetual) issues. We will also work together to help you appreciate your relationship’s strengths and to gently navigate through its vulnerabilities.
This work follows your lead (we aren’t doing a scripted thing each week), but we do put some things in place as we go:
Understanding your partner’s point of view when managing conflict. We slow it down and make sure each side feels heard and understood. To accomplish this, we use “I” statements, talk about feelings, and state positive needs. Studies have shown that cooperation happens best (even with warring countries!) after both sides effectively understand the other’s point of view.
Eliminating the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These are: (1) Defensiveness, (2) Criticism, (3) Stonewalling, and (4) Contempt. Did you know that contempt is the number one predictor of divorce/separation? Interesting fact: research shows that something as small as eye-rolling counts as contempt, and is a reliable predictor of divorce if couples don’t intervene.
We deal directly with “gridlocked” issues. And we don’t solve most of them. Research shows that about 80% of issues in relationships are never solved. We can, however, learn to dialogue about them, come to an understanding, and find ways to understand the need behind the conflict.
We work on skills like self-soothing, making effective repairs, learning how to start up a conversation with each other, de-escalating quarrels, processing fights and betrayals, and so much more.
We work on building friendship and intimacy, making room for fun and laughter, turning toward each other, and creating shared meaning. Remembering why you like each other and finding joy in your relationship is the whole point, right?
Connecting with me on a consult
I’m on your side, and I want you to succeed.
Both partners should attend
(you can talk with me on the phone from separate locations if necessary).
Here’s what you can expect in your free 20-minute consultation…
1
What are you looking for?
I’ll ask you a few questions to help me understand what you’re looking for in coming to therapy.
What are you coming in for? Can you share any relevant history?
What are your hopes for therapy?
2
What are your questions?
Ask me anything.
Some good questions are about what to expect in sessions, what kinds of interventions might be used and what homework might be given, timelines, cost, training, and how I will help both of you to feel heard and understood.
3
Let me know.
Take your time deciding.
After our consult, we’ll say goodbye. Then you’ll take some time and discuss it together. We can then schedule a session if we all feel like it’s a good fit. If you don’t feel like it’s a good fit, I can help you find someone who might be able to help.
What should we expect in our session?
Our first three sessions are all about getting to know you in your relationship.
This includes discussion and paperwork.
It’s VERY thorough, but it’s also fascinating!
Before we begin working on your challenges, we need to know what they are.
We also need to know about your strengths, your coping mechanisms,
your patterns, and your stuck points.
After your free consultation, if you decide to proceed,
here’s how our first three sessions will go:
Session 1
Oral History
This session is about 90 minutes. Both of you attend together.
I’ll ask you some questions to help me understand your relationship up to this point. I’ll also ask you to discuss something that has been challenging, for about 10 minutes while I observe.
At the end of this session, you’ll go home with paperwork. It will take you a while to get through it, but it will give us a clear and thorough picture of who you both are, and what you need.
Session 2
Separate Sessions
This session is about 90 minutes, but I see each of you separately, for 45 minutes. This can be scheduled separately if needed.
In this session, we’ll get more deeply into your needs as individuals, and what you hope for in your life and relationship. We’ll be referring to the paperwork you already filled out, as well as anything that seems important to you.
All following couples’ sessions are 90 minutes each.
Session 3
Going over everything
This session is about 90 minutes.
We all come back together to discuss what it all means.
I will go over your results. We will discuss your strengths and challenges as a couple, and we’ll talk about where we are going to focus first, and what will come next.
After this session, we are ready to begin the work. At each session, you’ll bring in what seems most important to you, and we’ll work from there.
FAQs
Do you take insurance?
I take some insurance for sex therapy and groups. Get in touch to find out what’s possible.
What are your fees for couples’ therapy?
Self-pay is $175 per 90-minute session.
Where are you located?
I am in the beautiful Albuquerque, NM. I do in-person sessions and telehealth at this time.
